I know that I've addressed this issue in previous blogs but for some reason this keeps sticking out in my mind. I guess because I've played both sides of this fence maybe, who knows with my busy mind.
I know that I've discussed cheating in a previous blog and my feelings are kind of mixed with that. I've been a 'relationship' where I was the other woman. For a while that was acceptable to me because I didn't want the bullshit the wifey went through I just wanted to have fun and do my thang.
On the opposite side of the fence my son's father and I were going through a rough time in our relationship and I couldn't or wouldn't give him what it was he needed as a man so therefore he stepped out and had a sideline ho. In my heart I knew but he refused to give me confirmation. I wasn't sure how much more confirmation I needed because he would lie about going to work, where his money went, and why he didn't come home until the next day. I'm not stupid but I guess I was in denial. I had once read a text message this sideline ho sent discussing about buying him something. Of course I was furious, but I was hurt. So just like any other hood bitch would I brought her to her like 'don't buy my man shit whatever he needs I got him' blah blah blah. That was a fucking joke. As our relationship progressively got worse it resulted in him leaving and of course running straight to this home wrecking bitch. I was livid and heart broken so for a female like me to have all those mixed emotions, and I guess guilt was in there somewhere, it was not good. I went on a rampage and was determined to ruin both of their lives.
After almost a week of him being inconegro, not calling his son, it was pretty much fuck us, I ran into both of them at the store. I seen her first and then seen him trying to hide in the car. The funny thing was he never even seen me coming until I was repeatedly whipping his ass in the front seat of the car. She still didn't even know what was going on until she walks to her car and I flipping the fuck out. I let her know she was marked and once I had the opportunity to get her, I was gonna beat the shit out of her.I caused so much of a scene I knew police where coming so I left. About a week after this episode my son's father comes to my house and of course we wind up fucking. I guess I thought if I put it on him better then her he'd come home. He didn't he left to go get her from work and continued to play that with her, not me. I seen her parked across the street at my family's house and decided that I was going to have a conversation with her. I wanted her to know how I felt and what the situation between he and I really was. She claims he didn't tell her we were still together only that we still lived together. Fuck outta here bitch how fucking stupid are you?!?! The situation played out and she called herself being 'real' but still being a fucking liar. I expected it from him but damn I guess I thought I was gonna pull the female card and maybe she would sympathize with me and tell me the truth. I guessed wrong.
Situations like this are always tricky. You want to be happy but if a man/woman already has somebody and they are stepping out on them with you what makes you think they won't do it you? I never knew or care to know what it felt like being the one who was betrayed, but now that I know I won't do that to another. Its not fair to anybody involved. Some women like to play this position because it means they advance to what ever social or financial level they are looking for, but its not right. If I could tell all the women that I messed with their men I would. I would keep it 100% real because its fucked up the part I played and maybe that will help them to cut loose from the dogging ass men.Not all men or dogs but if you find one that isn't don't dog him out. Women are much liars then men so therefore the likeliness of a woman getting caught up on some humbug shit is not alot. Men on the other hand will lie and lie some more to cover the first lie but its not even believable. The point I'm trying to make is this: if you are unhappy at home TELL THEM, COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS! You can't expect some body's crystal ball to be functioning all the time. For all you sideline Ho's reformed or otherwise think about how that would make you feel.
Until next time....
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thats Just My Baby Daddy/ Baby Mama
Well as ya'll know the preceding blogs where about women, men and the fact of cheating. Now I'm going to discuss the baby daddy/mama relationship from my perspective.
When a child is born to two people its truly a blessing from God. Some people have never known what a true family really is and never will know because they are unable to reproduce. Sometimes in life relationships don't always work out and when a child(ren) is involved it always makes things a little bit more complex.
Ladies often times we wanna talk shit about the father(s) of our children, myself included, when we are upset about something they did or didn't do. We have to first realize that the obligation is to the
child(ren), not to us. Its not up to them to provide for a weekly pedicures, our new hair do that we're trying to impress the next dude with, but to our child's needs and whatever wants in can turn provide. Women who abuse the system to support their own lifestyles piss me off. That money is called CHILD SUPPORT, to SUPPORT the CHILD not your trifling ass. Get it together. I also wanna discuss having another relationship and the new one being a part of your child(ren)'s life. If its a healthy permanent thing, then hey do ya thang. If it is not and just somebody who comes in bangs you when its convenient and leaves some money on the dresser and then goes home to his girl/wife, what are you thinking? That's not fair to you or your child.
Fellas, I understand that in this day and time the 'cool' thing to do is to leave your child on stuck. Fuck that!! Men you need to take responsibility for your child as much as their mother does. There are some men out here who do want to be an active part in their child(ren)'s lives but because the baby mama's have that 'if you re not with me or do what I want you to you can't partake in raising your child. Only when I need a sitter so I can go trickin with my girls' attitude. I know that makes it hard for you guys and is not fair to you or the child. Instead of being pissed off or running your mouth DO SOMETHING about it. Do you know if half of you guys had a legit job and a safe and stable environment for your child and went to file for joint custody/visitation you would get it. These courts don't want to prevent the responsible fathers from being fathers to their child(ren), they want you to do your damn part!
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, you can't change anybody who doesn't want to take an active part in changing. If your baby mother/baby father doesn't want to do right by your child(ren) then you can't make them. Regardless of hard it may seem or how much it hurts, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Focus on your child and not another grown ass adult. In the end it is the children who will/have suffer/ed. Everybody wants that picture perfect family, some of us get it and then again some of us don't. If it was meant to be it will be if not you can't force it. So before you go to bad mouth your baby father or baby mother think about the part you play in all that. That's all I'm saying. Focus on your child(ren) because they are the ones who truly need and want you. It is possible to be a family without ya'll being in a relationship with one another. Stop being selfish and think about the ones who really matter!
So until next time.....
When a child is born to two people its truly a blessing from God. Some people have never known what a true family really is and never will know because they are unable to reproduce. Sometimes in life relationships don't always work out and when a child(ren) is involved it always makes things a little bit more complex.
Ladies often times we wanna talk shit about the father(s) of our children, myself included, when we are upset about something they did or didn't do. We have to first realize that the obligation is to the
child(ren), not to us. Its not up to them to provide for a weekly pedicures, our new hair do that we're trying to impress the next dude with, but to our child's needs and whatever wants in can turn provide. Women who abuse the system to support their own lifestyles piss me off. That money is called CHILD SUPPORT, to SUPPORT the CHILD not your trifling ass. Get it together. I also wanna discuss having another relationship and the new one being a part of your child(ren)'s life. If its a healthy permanent thing, then hey do ya thang. If it is not and just somebody who comes in bangs you when its convenient and leaves some money on the dresser and then goes home to his girl/wife, what are you thinking? That's not fair to you or your child.
Fellas, I understand that in this day and time the 'cool' thing to do is to leave your child on stuck. Fuck that!! Men you need to take responsibility for your child as much as their mother does. There are some men out here who do want to be an active part in their child(ren)'s lives but because the baby mama's have that 'if you re not with me or do what I want you to you can't partake in raising your child. Only when I need a sitter so I can go trickin with my girls' attitude. I know that makes it hard for you guys and is not fair to you or the child. Instead of being pissed off or running your mouth DO SOMETHING about it. Do you know if half of you guys had a legit job and a safe and stable environment for your child and went to file for joint custody/visitation you would get it. These courts don't want to prevent the responsible fathers from being fathers to their child(ren), they want you to do your damn part!
I guess what I'm trying to say is this, you can't change anybody who doesn't want to take an active part in changing. If your baby mother/baby father doesn't want to do right by your child(ren) then you can't make them. Regardless of hard it may seem or how much it hurts, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Focus on your child and not another grown ass adult. In the end it is the children who will/have suffer/ed. Everybody wants that picture perfect family, some of us get it and then again some of us don't. If it was meant to be it will be if not you can't force it. So before you go to bad mouth your baby father or baby mother think about the part you play in all that. That's all I'm saying. Focus on your child(ren) because they are the ones who truly need and want you. It is possible to be a family without ya'll being in a relationship with one another. Stop being selfish and think about the ones who really matter!
So until next time.....
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