Treust Issues

Well this is always a fun topic of conversation between any persons who have any kind of relationship. Especially in an intimate one. Relationships are based on a few key elements and since they seem so simple but are very complex.

I've found that no matter how simple a lie seems it never is simple.If one you lie about your age, you still lied. In my opinion nobody is 100% real. Sure you can say and believe 99% of what is said is real but there is still that 1% that is still untrue. When your partner lies to you about something so petty the likeliness of you really ever truly believing them again. What are you gonna do? Are you going to persecute somebody because they do what human nature does? I don't believe deceitfulness is acceptable on any level but things that are menial ('I'll be 29 this year' knowing your ass is 29 plus 3) is what it is. It isn't hurting but helping you to not feel so damn old!

When a person is in love judgement is often clouded because we never want to see any fault in the person that we are so in love/lust whatever. Everybody as a human being who is capable to process complete thought patterns to this caliber are capable of feeling euphoric about being in love. We all want those happy endings. So people really do have a clinical disease but fuck that, they can keep that craziness to their selves. In order to really love somebody you have to have trust. Not trust in another but trust in yourself.You have to trust yourself first to make the best decision for your children and yourself. If you have warning signs ya man/girl is a cheater and a liar but you still refuse to entertain that, you are just as guilty and put faith in another you didn't first put in yourself. I'm not saying its not gonna hurt anymore I'm just saying be pissed at yourself  first and foremost.You are the only person who truly knows whats best for you. Friends, family can offer advice from personal experience but they can not make your decision for you. The problem is we never listen to the logical proven facts we look at the emotional facts. If you can't trust somebody how can you earnestly allow that person to have you sexually, emotionally, mentally? You can't. The heart and head will always be conflict if you don't trust yourself.

What I'm saying is this: : LOVE YOURSELF for all that you are, UNDERSTAND that you are human TRUST yourself to do what is in your best interest. Don't expect anything from anybody without trusting that you know the appropriate response. If you don't have it for yourself ,  there will be nobody that will have it for you.

Until Next Time......

Sideline Ho

I know that I've addressed this issue in previous blogs but for some reason this keeps sticking out in my mind. I guess because I've played both sides of this fence maybe, who knows with my busy mind.

I know that I've discussed cheating in a previous blog and my feelings are kind of mixed with that. I've been a 'relationship' where I was the other woman. For a while that was acceptable to me because I didn't want the bullshit the wifey went through I just wanted to have fun and do my thang.

On the opposite side of the fence my son's father and I were going through a rough time in our relationship and I couldn't or wouldn't give him what it was he needed as a man so therefore he stepped out and had a sideline ho. In my heart I knew but he refused to give me confirmation. I wasn't sure how much more confirmation I needed because he would lie about going to work, where his money went,  and why he didn't come home until the next day. I'm not stupid but I guess I was in denial. I had once read a text message this sideline ho sent discussing about buying him something. Of course I was furious, but I was hurt. So just like any other hood bitch would I brought her to her like 'don't buy my man shit whatever he needs I got him' blah blah blah. That was a fucking joke. As our relationship progressively got worse it resulted in him leaving and of course running straight to this home wrecking bitch. I was livid and heart broken so for a female like me to have all those mixed emotions, and I guess guilt was in there somewhere, it was not good. I went on a rampage and was determined to ruin both of their lives.

After almost a week of him being inconegro, not calling his son, it was pretty much fuck us, I ran into both of them at the store. I seen her first and then seen him trying to hide in the car. The funny thing was he never even seen me coming until I was repeatedly whipping his ass in the front seat of the car. She still didn't even know what was going on until she walks to her car and I flipping the fuck out. I let her know she was marked and once I had the opportunity to get her, I was gonna beat the shit out of her.I caused so much of a scene I knew police where coming so I left. About a week after this episode my son's father comes to my house and of course we wind up fucking. I guess I thought if I put it on him better then her he'd come home. He didn't he left to go get her from work and continued to play that with her, not me. I seen her parked across the street at my family's house and decided that I was going to have a conversation with her. I wanted her to know how I felt and what the situation between he and I really was. She claims he didn't tell her we were still together only that we still lived together. Fuck outta here bitch how fucking stupid are you?!?! The situation played out and she called herself being 'real' but still being a fucking liar. I expected it from him but damn I guess I thought I was gonna pull the female card and maybe she would sympathize with me and tell me the truth. I guessed wrong.

Situations like this are always tricky. You want to be happy but if a man/woman already has somebody and they are stepping out on them with you what makes you think they won't do it you? I never knew or care to know what it felt like being the one who was betrayed, but now that I know I won't do that to another. Its not fair to anybody involved. Some women like to play this position because it means they advance to what ever social or financial level they are looking for, but its not right. If I could tell all the women that I messed with their men I would. I would keep it 100% real because its fucked up the part I played and maybe that will help them to cut loose from the dogging ass men.Not all men or dogs but if you find one that isn't don't dog him out. Women are much liars then men so therefore the likeliness of a woman getting caught up on some humbug shit is not alot. Men on the other hand will lie and lie some more to cover the first lie but its not even believable. The point I'm trying to make is this: if you are unhappy at home TELL THEM, COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS AND FEELINGS! You can't expect some body's crystal ball to be functioning all the time. For all you sideline Ho's reformed or otherwise think about how that would make you feel.

Until next time....

Thats Just My Baby Daddy/ Baby Mama

Well as ya'll know the preceding blogs where about women, men and the fact of cheating. Now I'm going to discuss the baby daddy/mama relationship from my perspective.

When a child is born to two people its truly a blessing from God. Some people have never known what a true family really is and never will know because they are unable to reproduce. Sometimes in life relationships don't always work out and when a child(ren) is involved it always makes things a little bit more complex.

Ladies often times we wanna talk shit about the father(s) of our children, myself included, when we are upset about something they did or didn't do. We have to first realize that the obligation is to the
child(ren), not to us. Its not up to them to provide for a weekly pedicures, our new hair do that we're trying to impress the next dude with, but to our child's needs and whatever wants in can turn provide. Women who abuse the system to support their own lifestyles piss me off. That money is called CHILD SUPPORT, to SUPPORT the CHILD not your trifling ass. Get it together. I also wanna discuss having another relationship and the new one being a part of your child(ren)'s life. If its a healthy permanent thing, then hey do ya thang. If it is not and just somebody who comes in bangs you when its convenient and leaves some money on the dresser and then goes home to his girl/wife, what are you thinking? That's not fair to you or your child.

Fellas, I understand that in this day and time the 'cool' thing to do is to leave your child on stuck. Fuck that!! Men you need to take responsibility for your child as much as their mother does. There are some men out here who do want to be an active part in their child(ren)'s lives but because the baby mama's have that 'if you re not with me or do what I want you to you can't partake in raising your child. Only when I need a sitter so I can go trickin with my girls' attitude. I know that makes it hard for you guys and is not fair to you or the child. Instead of being pissed off or running your mouth DO SOMETHING about it. Do you know if half of you guys had a legit job and a safe and stable environment for your child and went to file for joint custody/visitation you would get it. These courts don't want to prevent the responsible fathers from being fathers to their child(ren), they want you to do your damn part!

I guess what I'm trying to say is this, you can't change anybody who doesn't want to take an active part in changing. If your baby mother/baby father doesn't want to do right by your child(ren) then you can't make them. Regardless of hard it may seem or how much it hurts, GET THE FUCK OVER IT! Focus on your child and not another grown ass adult. In the end it is the children who will/have suffer/ed. Everybody wants that picture perfect family, some of us get it and then again some of us don't. If it was meant to be it will be if not you can't force it. So before you go to bad mouth your baby father or baby mother think about the part you play in all that. That's all I'm saying. Focus on your child(ren) because they are the ones who truly need and want you. It is possible to be a family without ya'll being in a relationship with one another. Stop being selfish and think about the ones who really matter!

So until next time.....

Something Real On Cheating

So at some point in all of our lives we've all had to deal with cheating, wether it was you doin the cheating, the one being cheated on, or the one somebody is cheating with we all know how the story goes. This is how I make some kind of logic out of all the nonsense and noise.

First off, in order to keep your partner happy and home you have to satisfy and stimulate them in a physical, emotional and mental kind of way. Men are more on the physical while women are on the emotional and intellectual stimulation.

I'm going to start off with the fellas, I understand the need to be staisfied and if a woman is uncapable of providing that satisfaction you will proceed to the next. What I don't understand is why you fucking your sideline ho with no condom? Why are ya'll sounding like Usher singing 'Confessions'? Ya'll trippin with that shit. You should always keep home happy and if you're not happy at home leave. Why would you fuck a bitch that gave you the pussy without thinkin about it the first time never mind twice, and if she has no problem fucking up your home then you already know the type of bitch she is. Ya'll put too much trust in these hookers thinkin they weren't gonna tell ya wife/girl/baby mama or their girlfriends who in turn told the whole city. Wisen up man. Keep ya home happy and only give them other bitches dick. Keep your hoes in check and your indiscretions private and you'll save yourself alot of drama. PS: always keep up on your lies because women don't forget shit especially if it was supsect as soon as it left your mouth.

Ladies, now if your man takes care of home meaning your kids are taken care, your bills are paid, you stay fly and he makes you feel like his only what is the big deal? A man is going to be a man and they will step out in some point in their lives but be angry, upset, fuck his face/head up and let him know he fucked up. Make him think about what the hell he did. You have two choices allow him to stay and forgive him or put his ass out and move to the next one. Most of ya'll will allow him to stay and be like fuck it and won't even make him pay for his dumbness. Just remember your intuition is your guide and if your heart is telling you he fucked up most of the time he did, and will eventually tell on himself.

Love is a give and take type of deal, you'll give and the other take or you'll take while the other gives. Either way always make life giving decisions and choose what battles are worth fighting. Easier said then done but a smart woman will know when she has a good man and vice versa. Trust and communication go hand in hand and without one your relationship will be destined to fail. Just be smart enough to trust yourself before another and it will never steer you wrong.


Stay tuned for the next topic: baby daddy/baby mama drama

Something Real for the Fellas

So in the last blog I addressed the ladies, now its time for me to get at the fellas.

As we all know there is a difference between men and boys, sometimes fellas ya'll got shit so fucked up it makes no sense to you but you try to make it make sense to us. I will never understand that concept but whatever.

A man's job is to provide, protect, and profess. Those are ya'lls jobs. A female doesn't need you in her life she wants you in her life and if you wanna be there you should act like it. I understand the baby daddy/baby mama rules and all that good shit but what about being a  female's man and not just her boyfriend/baby daddy/ sugar daddy and so forth.

They say a good woman is hard to find and to be truthful I feel as if a good man is even harder. There are some good men out there and for all ya'll doing ya'll thing I am very proud. If you have children but provide for them you are a good man. You don't have to be with your child's mother to have a relationship with your child, you are a grown man with no obligations to anybody other then your child(ren). For women to use their children as pawns in their twisted games upset me horribly. So fellas when it comes to those kind of things I support ya'll 100%.

Women are emotional (and sometimes unstable) creatures. Men are not as emotional so its often hard to relate to us on a more personal level.

I don't condone abusing a woman whatsoever but I also feel that if a woman hits you like a man she deserves to be hit back. For a man to not put his hands on a female after everything she has ever done to you, kudos because you have excellent self control.

Most men like to holla 'I'm a grown ass man'  and thats cool if thats what it is, but don't claim to be something you arent. Men lie women lie, all people lie to an extent, but the severity of the lies depends on the respect you have for whomever you're dealing with. If you don't love a woman don't tell her you do. Again because women are emotional thats all they think with is their emotions.

Please feel free to comment and leave your opinion or anything you want to add.....

*Stay tuned for the next blog on cheating

Something Real for my Ladies

So we all have differences in views on whats acceptable in a relationship. Here are some of my thoughts. *These are not proven facts just my opinion on the following issues*

Ladies, I want to address all the queens first. Ya'll hold your own, are independent and don't need a man for shit! To be considered a queen in a relationship ya'll have to act like a queen on your own. Ya'll ladies take care of home, your kids, and your man to the fullest and always act with dignity and respect. When a hoe (later discussed) gets out of line and tries to show her ass you laugh and shake your head because you know this girl has no sense and can never be on the level your on. You ladies have your own careers that was obtained through your hard work sweat, tears and frustration, your own homes (ain't no busta putting you out of shit), credit (not bad credit because unlike hoe, hoodrat, whore, and lazy bitch you paid your bills) and a meaning of self worth. You demand respect and nothing less is acceptable. Pat yourselves on the back for playing your role as queen to the fullest. You deserve the crown! 

Wifey, ya'll know who ya'll are. You ladies get so much respect from me. Ya'll carry and raise a mans child, cook his dinner , wash his clothes, keep his house clean, keep him satisfied and cater to his every need. There is nothing wrong with this other then where is your money? What are your goals? You CAN NOT LIVE FOR ANOTHER BEFORE LIVING FOR YOURSELF FIRST. Alot of the times I've seen these woman break their backs time after time for another when often neglecting themselves. To live selflessly is admirable but you have to make yourself happy. Love your children, watch them grow and guide them to be better human beings then the generation before. Teach your daughters that you can't depend on somebody else for your happiness, teach them how to play an equal part in a relationship, intimate or  not.  Teach them their self worth, but first find it yourself. Teach your sons the kind of woman that would do right by him and make him feel like a man while being a man. Teach him how to respect women because these days alot of men don't.

Hoes ( some also called slut, whore, trick etc), I have to say this to you, there is no reason for you to not love yourself. Sex is supposed to be something sacred not something you do for fun or to make a living. You in your own right can be a queen. The years of being degraded and disrespected are things of the past. DEMAND RESPECT! You have the divine right to live your life surrounded by love and respect. A lot of women have overcame a lot of abuse, from lovers, family, friends and the one that does the most damage is yourself. You will only attract the kind of man that ain't shit if you don't act like YOU ARE THE SHIT. Never settle and its ok if you are alone, sometimes that just where you need to be. I don't judge anybody for anything because I have enough skeletons in my own closet. If you're tricking to provide for your children, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do; but to be a hoe because its 'fun' is ignorant and makes me want to smack the hell out of you silly bitches. In any relationship always make them feel you are irreplaceable. Be the kind of woman that a man wants in their life, the  kind of mother that teaches her children the importance of respect and determination, be the type of friend that people know are genuine. LOVE YOURSELF and remember that YOU WILL PERSEVERE.

To any type of female remember that men are hear to provide, protect and profess. They are not needed but appreciated. Stop playing childish games, a grown ass man has no time for this shit. If you stopped focusing on how much the last nicca hurt you and did you wrong focus on the blessing of another chance standing right in front of you. Women are emotional and complex and sometimes its hard for a man to understand that because men are a more simple type of person. Most don't hear or see you're looking for a compliment when you get a new haircut. They don't understand the need to feel needed that's not their fault ladies, its just how they were made. If you have a good man appreciate him, never make him feel than anything less than a man.

So until next time............


*Next I'll put something real in your ear about fellas!*